Posts

Riley Justice and the Corporate Team Building Exercise in Deception

The Daring Adventures of Riley Justice!

Riley Justice, the hard-working (or is it hardly working) accounts-receivable cog helping to keep the corporate machine grinding on, while occasionally foiling Corporate Raider’s sinister plots.

Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice by Don Clark

Riley Justice and the Corporate Team Building Exercise in Deception

Where Riley Justice Thinks Outside the Box to Strategically Move to the Rear of Department Restructurement

 

Accounts Receivable is an efficient and ruthless machine. Invoices are processed and dispatched within hours of completion of contract. Payment is expected statim vel propter aliud. Statim vel propter aliud is a Latin turn of phrase crafted especially for Accounts Receivable. It’s meaning is ambiguous; it’s intent is menacing. Payment is expected upon receipt.

Past-due notices are sent the following day.

Accounts Receivable is an efficient and ruthless machine, but still, there is room for improvement. Thus was formed the once-yearly Planning Exercise in Creative Thinking. PEcT for short. They’re always held off-site at some corporate creative outside the box blue sky center. There’s grass, fresh air, comfortable furniture, and loads of snacks and drinks.

And you can wear shorts. Read more

Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice by Don Clark

Riley Justice, Another Day at the Office

The Daring Adventures of Riley Justice!

Riley Justice, the hard-working (or is it hardly working) accounts-receivable cog helping to keep the corporate machine grinding on, while occasionally foiling Corporate Raider’s sinister plots.

Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice by Don Clark

Riley Justice, Another Day at the Office

Where Riley Justice Attempts to Stop an Activist Investor’s Slashing Attack on the Bottom Line

 

Accounts Receivable is as seemingly endless as the cosmos itself. Walking its maze of corridors, filing rooms, and cubicles one could only theorize what lies at it’s perimeter. If the last lonely desk is found, does the junior accountant there fold in upon himself? Just as light is bent by the overwhelming gravity of a black hole, do the laws of finance bend upon a budget surplus?

Accounts Payable, on the other hand, has known boundaries. It’s like a small city state of medieval times. Too small to do anything of note, too insignificant even for it’s surrounding larger rivals to bother with. The head of Accounts Payable is well aware of his little fiefdom’s shortcomings. His stunted staff works tirelessly in the fields of past-due invoices.

Read more

Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice by Don Clark-episode 2 logo

Riley Justice and the Conference Room of Terror!

The Daring Adventures of Riley Justice!

Riley Justice, the hard-working (or is it hardly working) accounts-receivable cog helping to keep the corporate machine grinding on, while occasionally foiling Corporate Raider’s sinister plots.

Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice by Don Clark-episode 2

Riley Justice and the Conference Room of Terror!

Where Riley Justice Attempts to Foil a Sinister Plot to Lull the Office Into a Sleep Coma!

 

Led by the Junior Vice President of Data Organization and Repository Analysis Quantification. This Brobdingnagian Bore plans to lull everyone in the Fifth Floor Annex Auxiliary Conference Room B into a dull-induced sleep in a bid to take control of the File Management and Storage Box Acquisition Committee.

 

Now we join Riley Justice in Fifth Floor Annex Auxiliary Conference Room B where the bi-weekly File Management and Storage Box Acquisition Committee meeting is already in progress:

There was a bassey (but not that cool bass) noise droning from the front of the room. The JrVP; the place where joy is killed, like light being sucked into a black hole. ‘Why does this committee even exist? Here’s an idea about your dumb boxes – no one cares!’Riley wrote this down on paper:
Read more

logo for Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice by Don Clark

The Daring Adventures of Riley Justice vol 1




Serial Fun Office Fiction Riley Justice logo

 

In the accounting department:

I glance up from my immaculate and trim desk; clean and organized, it is the desk where to-do lists go to die. I’m Riley Justice. Ruler of receivables.

The guy across the aisle squirrels his business cards away in a drawer because he’s embarrassed by his lack of a card holder. He should be. His cards sift among fast food wrappers, past-due invoices, and reams of printed off (but never read) emails.

My boss walks by, she asks him for a card. Bewildered, he paws through drawers, digging through years of clutter until he finds one stained, folded in half business card. His name a smear of corporate-ladder bottom-dwelling.

My boss takes the card, sighs, and walks on.

The next in line puts her cheap business cards on some soulless, mass-produced, uninspired holder. Some chipped plastic model she doesn’t have the pride to replace. Her desk is stacked with folders from last year’s completed projects.

My boss’s disappointment pulls at her face. She asks for a card then glances over her shoulder.

The card she receives is thin, small, and insignificant. It’s the card that belongs to no one going no where. “This is why the board has lost its leverage.”

My boss stops in front of my desk, head down, and almost whispers her request for my business card. Just then some smartly-tailored cadre of expensive-haircutted Captains of Corporate-Turnarounds stride confidently down the hall.

“Sure boss.” I pass up soulless, mass-produced, catalog uninspired card holders in favor of a handsomely handcrafted wood business card holder. Kudos to me my friend.

I remove a single card. It’s thick, but not so thick it intrudes into the obnoxious. The letters have that cool indent thing. It’s strong and powerful, the business card belonging to a person moving up in the world. I hand the card to my boss. “Why so glum chum?”

My boss shakes her head. “The Board of Directors are holed up in the conference room. We’ve lost our leverage. They, they’ve acquired a controlling interest. They, they want names. Efficiencies. Margins–”

Just then one of those smartly-tailored expensive-haircut jokers put a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s have those names, and the profit and loss databases.”

“IT’S A HOSTILE TAKEOVER!” I scream. The rest of the haircuts rush my desk.

Swiftly I pick up the card holder. It’s solid wood, walnut. Nice. “This’ll do.” I shake the cards loose and wing the wood block at the on-rushers. “Take this you Corporate Raider Scum.” It hits one soundly on the side of his head, denting his old-man rich-guy quaff, bounces and soundly strikes a second raider in the part of his hair. “How do you like your haircuts now?” Panicked, the two rush to a mirror.

There’s only a handful of them now – no match for Riley Justice. Counter-punch. Parry. Thrust! I’m locked together with the last of them and in the struggle his face is loosed from its skull by my exacting grip.

But the face is only rubber. “It’s only a mask!”

And under the mask is some cigar stump chewing Edward G Robinson parody. “Now you listen here. We’re going to take over this company see. We’ve got a new board lined up here see. Myeah boys. Tell em. Boys?”

All the boys are gone, primping their hair and straitening their ties. “Looks like you’re all alone now.” I say.

“Yeah, well, I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling accountants! Myeah.”

 

“Mmmm, yeah. Riley, I’m going to need that cover sheet– Hey! Wake up. Somebody wake this person up.”

I blink. The puddle of drooled slackedness is a small pond next to my keyboard. I lift my head, the impression of the keyboard tattling on my forehead. The monitor shows one-hundred and thirty-four pages of Js. “It was only a dream.”

“Yeah. I’m going to need you to come in on Saturday.”

Well, at least my desk is neat. And the card holder is real. If only those corporate-supplied business cards weren’t so cheap . . .
Now you can purchase the business card holder Riley Justice relies upon to thwart the Hordes of Corporate Raiders!

Certain to dent the comb-work of the most liberal applicator of hairspray. And when your department is quiet, this card holder is certain to impress your boss and make your coworkers jealous. Continue your climb up the corporate-ladder and purchase your all natural wood card holder today(Click here)

wood card holder with shield of approval